I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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