At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
