I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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