I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
