I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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