yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
