dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
