I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
