Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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