he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
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i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
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We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.