i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.