You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla