why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.