Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
