If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
