Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
