So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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