she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
