dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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