3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize