my vag is so smooth its legendary
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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