he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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