His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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