i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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