He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
