If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
