her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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