im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
