Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
