Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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