its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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