It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
