My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize