your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
