i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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