the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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