don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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