And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
