I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
