i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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