hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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