hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
