Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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