On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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