He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
