the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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