it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
