its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
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I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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