I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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