he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
