theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
