they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
farters have to be the big spoon...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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