my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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