I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
