We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
