Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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