So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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