flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
not ubering you a puppy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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