The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
