It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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